If.......

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
...... Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son

Perhaps you recognise the lines above from Rudyard Kipling's poem 'If', I'm not sure about the being a Man part but the first two lines really hit home for me after my last two training sessions at Leicester Shootfighters.   Following a conversation with Nathan, the coach, about fighting this year during which he suggested that I need to get more mat time in, specifically grappling sparring, I attended the advanced grappling class which is mostly free rolling.   To say that I got schooled is a huge understatement.  Only one of my training partners was as heavy as me but they all handed me my ass.  I got tapped,  gassed and, during a roll with Nathan, a little hurt.  I went home not a little dispirited and tried not to dwell on my failings.

Two days later I attended the wrestling class followed by sub grappling taught by Rob Hannis.  Aside from needing to improve both areas I was glad to have an opportunity to get back on the mat quickly in order to prove - mostly to myself - that I could, that I wasn't scared or put off by adversity.  In a complete contrast to the training 48 hours earlier I had a great old time.  Even though I haven't drilled takedowns for years I was able to pick them up pretty quickly and get a reasonable level of competency.  I also picked up the sprawling and sit-out variations okay so felt I'd spent a very worthwhile hour.  Staying on for the submission grappling I picked up two new (to me) guard breaks/passes and was able to drill them with no real problems.  We spent the last 20 minutes or so rolling light from the guard and I was able to get in a couple of good rolls with two guys closer to my weight.  I was really pleased to get guard passes and sweeps and left the gym feeling really good.

So what's the point in comparing these two very different experiences that took place so close together?  I didn't massively improve my technique, conditioning or game planning in two days, nor do I think that either performance was a blip, just about being more evenly matched in terms of the ability of my training partners.

The point of this post is to highlight the importance of being able to '... meet with Triumph and Disaster, And treat those two impostors just the same' that is to dwell on neither as of themselves, but to using them as experiences for learning and moving forward.  Anyone who watches sports of any kind will probably have heard fighters, players, managers, coaches follow a loss with the truism "We learn from it and move on".  Easy to say, and much easier in a non-competitive arena (training) than in a competitive one (a fight).  Having said that I feel I can add a little to the conversation without being too melodramatic.  I felt pretty miserable after what I'll refer to as my poor performance; essentially I felt like I'd been shown my true level and that I'd been deluding myself thinking that, with a little fine tuning, I could do myself justice in a fight.  As such, even on the way home from the gym I could feel negative thoughts and self-talk creep in.  "What's the point?" is often the first one in to my head, questioning whther I'll ever get where I want to go, whether I've got what it's going to take.  The first step for me in this is recognising what's going on - it's a reaction rather than a response, it's not based on reasoned thinking and should be acknowledged as such.  Once I can stop the reactive thoughts I can take some time to go back through to learn.  I like to take a solution focused approach - not 'why did it happen?', rather 'what can I do to improve or prevent the same happening again?'.  Sometimes it's not enough to have these conversations in my head, I'll write down the questions and answers in my notebook.  I'm a big believer in the expression 'I know what I believe when I hear myself say it' - or in this case see it written down.

Photo from jiujitsuvortex.com

How about meeting with Triumph?  I feel that it's just as important to not get carried away will victories however large (UFC Belt) or small (a good training session).  In the same way that I could feel the negativity creeping in on the way home, so I could feel almost euphoria sneaking in to my head after two good sessions.  What's wrong with this?  Nothing as long as I recognise it for what it is and examine the experience in a rational, useful way.  The opposite side of the coin to negativity is a feeling of invincibility or an over-estimation of one's ability.  Put like that it easy to see the need to rein it in a little.

So, to sum up:

1. Learn to recognise thoughts for what they are.
2. Challenge them.
3. Use a solution focused approach (What works? What's gone well? How can I do more of that? What can I do that will help? Who else can help?)
4. Talk it through or write it down.
5. Put it in to practice
6. Review.

Hopefully this is helpful, I'm already writing a bigger piece along similar lines.  If you've read this far, please leave a comment or drop me a line to tell me what you think.